Looking back at life a year ago, I can't help but laugh at how different things were. I had a crawling toddler who still nursed several times in the middle of the night, a husband that worked from home, and not one real mom friend. Despite my husband working from home, I was lonely and bored. The highlight of my week was shopping trips to Trader Joe's (ok ok, I still love running errands to the market) and bike rides to the river with my husband and just-crawling little boy.
Life was not bad a year ago, but life now is so much better. Although I still have a toddler that often wakes once in the middle of the night, he is now a much better sleeper overall. My husband has a new job that he loves, we live in a new city and a new, much brighter home, and I have friends. Real life friends with crazy toddlers who, when the days are hard, also feel like the weight of the world is sitting on their shoulders (and reassure me that's ok and totally normal).
Octavian is no longer a chubby little baby, but a running, screaming toddler. And, if I'm being honest, thank goodness! That first year was hard, so much harder than anything parenting has presented since he turned one. I loved my baby, but I did not enjoy, and most definitely do not miss, that first year. But now? Everything is fun (almost)! He talks in nearly full sentences and repeats everything I say. He has opinions and emotions and favorites. He is loving and kind, but fiercely independent and stubborn just like his father.
In other words, my baby has become my buddy. (Nearly) everything is better when he is around. Of course, his company requires extra work and attention (I am his mom, after all!), but it is worth it. If you had asked me one year ago if I wanted more children I would have said, no. But, now, I most definitely do.... even if we have to wait a few years (read part of the reason why here and here).
And, yes, he still loves to put leaves in his mouth, but at least now I don't have to worry about him gagging and throwing up when he does (this was a big problem, it happened at least 5 times).
What are your thoughts on that first year? Do you miss it?